Thursday, August 22, 2013

Happy Birthday in Heaven

Happy birthday to my beloved. It's been four years since I've been able to actually speak those words to him. It's so hard to believe that just 4 years ago I had a surprise party for him. His cousin worked it out to take him bowling, while I pretended to go to work. His family and mine, as well as some of his friends, were waiting for him when he got home. He was surprised, but he later admitted that he was so worried that something had happened to me at work since he recognized some of the cars parked near our house.

That party is one of the few videos that I have of him. I bought him a video camera for his birthday and recorded him blowing out his candles. There are a few other videos that we took, but he deleted them for one reason or another; but most of the time, he was behind the camera. One thing that I am so sorry for is that I never got him playing his guitar on video. I have his guitar sitting in the living room, another present from me. I can still see him siting there on the sofa strumming away and saying "come here, listen to this!" with such excitement.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have used that present so much more. It collects dust, except for the rare occasion that I pull it out to record the kids. Hopefully today, I will make it to the cemetery, it's been ages since I've been there. Never did I imagine that we would celebrate his birthday with flowers at our grave site.

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