Friday, December 7, 2012

I Did It

Well, I finally removed my rings last night. I took them off, then cried and wanted to put them back on. It's been a very hard night. I knew that it was time. I've been so aware of my rings for awhile now. I've worn them for 5 years, 3 of them without Chris. So, it was definitely time. I don't feel married anymore. But, I looked at the rings as a symbol of the love that we felt for each other. I know that my love for him is absolutely in no way diminished because I am not wearing the rings. But, why do I feel so awful today?

I have two wonderful children in my life right now, and they are what my focus is on. I cannot allow my grief to overtake my life. I will always grieve for Chris. Not a day will go by that I won't think of him and miss him. But, I just cannot allow the grief to take center stage. However, the 8th and 9th are always a difficult time for me, and this year is no exception.  Thankfully, I have two wonderful children that make life worth living. All that I have to do is look at them, or even their pictures, and I am reminded that my life certainly has purpose again.

3 comments:

  1. Ann, I know how hard it is to remove your wedding rings. I went through the same emotions. Chris will always be with you. I hope you and your children had a wonderful Holiday.

    Paula

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  2. I don't understand your exact pain, but I understand much of it. My husband died from cancer over a year ago, and I feel as though it was yesterday. I feel your pain.... still. He was my everything... Thank you for sharing. Hugs.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died a little over 2 years ago. I understand your pain. I'm in awe of your being able to take your rings off. I cannot do it. I still feel married to him. I will always be married to him. But we're all different and I applaud you for taking that big step.
    diane @ thoughts&shots

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