Wednesday, October 17, 2012

It's Been Awhile

I know that it's been awhile since I sat down and wrote anything. It's not because I don't have anything to write, I have plenty to say, it's rather not having the time. I now have two wonderful, beautiful children in my home!! It's exhausting to say the least. I work full time, plus a little extra sometimes on the weekends. I admire those men and women that were parents at the time that they lose their spouses! Not only are you grieving, but you have to take care of the children, maintain the house, and take care of the children's grief as well.

I love these kids. Even though I loved Chris with all of my heart, I never knew that I could love another human like this again. Of course, it's a different kind of love. But, I would have done anything for Chris and I certainly would do anything for my children as well. I truly thought that my heart was broken beyond repair when Chris passed away. But, I have learned that the heart can heal. Yes, there are scars that occasionally cause immense pain. But, when I hear the laughter in my home, or see a smile on my kid's faces, the pain lessens.

Chris and I went to the courthouse and eloped. We had our reasons for rushing our wedding, so that is why we didn't marry in the church. It was very important for us to say our vows in church though. So, we made a promise to each other that on our fifth wedding anniversary, we would renew our vows in our church. In just over two weeks, it will be our fifth anniversary. I can't help but be sad and depressed. We will never get to say our vows in the church. This year will mark more anniversary's that we have been apart than we celebrated together. I'm not going to lie, it hurts.

Thank goodness I have my wonderful children in my life. They have been such a wonderful blessing. The only thing that would make my life even better right now is if Chris was at my side helping me raise our children.



2 comments:

  1. Ann, I adore that you have found such love in your life, and I'm, as ever, sending you love and warm thoughts as you pass through this next milestone without your dear Chris.

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  2. It is beautiful and amazing how children can pull you through a dark moment, a dark day. I know you are a blessing to them as well.

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