Thursday, January 26, 2012

Smiling

I've found that recently I've begun to smile again. Not that fake smile where you put it on so that everyone will think that things are OK. It's a genuine smile, look in my eyes when I smile and you'll see that it's genuine. When someone asks how I'm doing, I smile big and say "good." And wow, I actually mean it.

I don't hang my head down when I walk. I hold my head up high because as terrible as this tragedy was, I am still alive. My life has meaning and purpose again. The monster that ended Chris's life and made mine a living hell is banished to prison with no chance of ever seeing freedom again. I have sighed a huge sigh of relief, and gotten back up on the horse (so to speak).

Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, I learned that the hard way. But, when times are good for me, like they are right now, I can't see the dark clouds. I'm by no means "over it" or "moving on"; I am merely beginning to see that I have a life in front of me and I want to be happy. And today, as I write these words, I am very happy.

1 comment:

  1. Came to visit your blog. I read your heart wrenching story:( I wish I could just give you a hug.xoxo I liked your post that you are starting to smile again:) I'm a widow and I feel speechless after reading what you went through. May God bless you!!!

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