Sunday, January 1, 2012
Another New Year
Here I am alone on another New Years Day. The only difference between this year and the last two is that I'm not wallowing in my sorrow. I'm alone today because I chose to be alone today. Of course I wish that Chris was here beside me and I wasn't writing these words. But, that is not my life. That is just a dream. I still can't believe that he's gone. I hate that it's one more year that we will be apart. I hate that the clock keeps ticking away and time keeps rolling along. But, I have accepted it. It doesn't mean that I have to like it though. I still have hate and anger in my heart for he monster that murdered him. It's just another year that I won't forgive him. Why should I? He took away the absolute most precious thing to me. He also took away my hopes and dreams. I felt like I died that awful day. I am not making any resolutions this year. I feel that all that I can do is continue to survive. I haven't survived this, I continue to survive. It's not over for me. I have to live without Chris every day and every night, I am reminded that he's not here. So, I continue to survive another year without him.