Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Ups and Downs of Widowhood

One day you're up and the next day you're down. That's just the way that it goes, especially when you're a widow. You can't help it. I've made my plans, set my goals and started acting on them. Life has been good to me the past few months. I have thus far been pleased with the way that things were going. Yesterday, I couldn't have been happier with the way that my goals were being met. Then I had a set back today. There are other people involved in my final goal and I just found out that two of the people that I had envisioned me finishing my goal with won't be able to make it with me. While I am very happy for them because they have another option, I am disappointed for myself. But, such is life. I have learned that life certainly does not go according to the plans that I have made. And I can't wallow in my self pity.

So, I took a deep breath, said that I was genuinely happy for these two and continued with my plans. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I got out of bed, actually put on some make-up and went on with my day as planned. I learned with Chris's passing that life is certainly not fair and does not go as you have mapped it out. I have learned that God may not be cruel, but he certainly likes to throw you some curve balls and make it interesting. Maybe this was a good thing. This may not have been what was meant for me at this time. But, I am holding out hope that the right person or persons will come into my life to complete my goals. One thing is certain, I will not give up my faith. I know that in time it will happen. It just wasn't meant to be with these two right now.

1 comment:

  1. I only did the month thing for the first 5 or 6 months. This year, I totally forgot the 6 year anniversary til late afternoon. (((bear hugs)))