Monday, August 8, 2011

"Not Everybody Has a Heart"

There has been some things said about me throughout the course of my widowhood; some nasty things that I do not care to repeat. I cannot wrap my brain around why someone or multiple people could be so cruel to a widow. I had already lost so much and to top it off witnessed the horrors of it. I've kept my dignity and all but my letter to the anonymous commenter here, I have pretty much kept my comments to myself. I don't feel that I need to defend myself. I know that I have done nothing wrong and those that matter to me also know that I have done nothing wrong. If someone chooses to believe lies about me then that person obviously means nothing to me. A friend of mine wrote on FB the other day:

Sometimes you have to remind yourself not everybody has a heart, everybody isn't your friend and search deep within and remember you are so much better than you give yourself credit for. Forgive those that hurt you, pray for the ones that hate you and love the ones that deserve you.
I haven't seen or heard such profound words in such a long time. It gave me a sense of peace actually. I took those words very seriously and took them to heart. I have kept those rude people in my prayers. I have always struggled with forgiveness, so it is hard for me to forgive all but the smallest of transgressions except when my forgiveness is asked for. So, forgiveness my not be forthcoming, but prayers are given freely.


  1. Thank you for having such courage to share your story. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Your pain must be incredible. I cannot image how hard and difficult it must be for you; murder, how can one make any since of that? My heart ached for you, as I read your post. I have shared w other widows to forgive other's ignorant comments, usually spoken as an attempt to offer some kind of sympathy. Forgive them, you forgive yourself for comments made before you knew better what to say and not say to those who are grieving. That said, there are those people, for ‘whatever reason’ find it in their hearts to take their resentment “for an unhappy life” out on societies most vulnerable. The worse phrase that I heard was, “You’re lucky your husband died; if you were divorced, you’d have to share the kids!” I had no response, unfortunately, because I was so shocked by such words; my jaw dropped and I was speechless. (This was a person whom I had just been introduced to). Societies most wounded are widows (ers); God blesses those who try to aid them: "Be kind to strangers, widows, and fatherless children." Genesis 22:21-22. As for those hurtful people I am still baffled by how little compassion some people can possess. I have had to work hard at forgiving them, because I (and you) deserve to live life --free of anger eating us up from inside, not because they deserve the forgiveness. I also have to look at the example of Jesus forgiving us for his death; I draw upon that strength too. Hugs to you as you try to find some light at the end of this fog of anguish that you must find yourself in; be compassionate toward yourself as you walk this dark path. The best gift you can give yourself is to focus all your precious energy onto yourself and your healing.
    "It shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow. Be kind to widows, orphans, fatherless children and strangers. Share whatever you have with them. Deuteronomy 24:17-21. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1: 27.

  2. Dear Ann, Here is a link to my blog, if you would like to view who I am too.
    I'm not only a sister widow, but a fellow blogger as well. Much love, sister in grief. <3