Friday, August 12, 2011

A Great Day to Be Alive

The weather has been absolutely lovely the past couple of days. And as I was driving today, I thought to myself what a wonderful day it was to be alive. I naturally looked at the passenger seat to tell Chris how much I love him, and what a great day it was. But, of course, he wasn't there. At least not that I could see. Then, I finally got a phone call today that I've been waiting months for. Apparently, there was a huge misunderstanding and that is why it has taken so long for me to hear back from them. I am giddy right now. The first person that I wanted to tell the news to was Chris.

It's funny how when I get news I still want to tell Chris first. In that moment of glee, I temporarily forget that he's not here. Yet, on days like today, I can't help but think that he's still around me and knows the good news. I like to think that he's surrounding me with love and smiling down upon me. When the weather is beautiful outside, I feel a little more at peace with what has happened. Don't get me wrong, I will always be haunted by how Chris left this world. But, somedays, I can be at peace that he is with God.

Even though I have tears in my eyes, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am sad. It means that while I miss Chris, I have accepted this new life and have to push forward. I am doing my best to live to my potential. I am doing my best to enjoy my life.

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