Friday, July 29, 2011

Living Life to It's Potential

I truly believe that I am alive for a reason. I tried to leave work early that night but I was stopped by a co-worker. If I would have left, I would have walked right in the middle of the attack. I can't say for sure if I would have saved Chris or would have been killed myself. So, I believe that I'm here for a reason. And I've made plans for my future. I have decided that I am going to start living my life to it's potential.

I believe that my life was saved. And I can't waste my life. I saw to it that Chris received the justice that he deserved. Then I thought to myself "now what?" To be quite honest with you, for months, all I could think about was joining Chris. I couldn't see that my life had somehow been spared. All I could see was that I had let him down. I couldn't get past the feeling that I didn't save him. Now, I see a different perspective. I am grateful to be alive. I see how wonderful life is. I wish every day and night that Chris was here to share this life with me, but I know that I have to live for the both of us. So, I have decided that starting today I am going to live my life to the fullest. I am going to live my life to it's potential. There will not be anymore glass half empty thinking.

2 comments:

  1. my husband died feb 21st from prostate cancer, i was a caregiver for 5 years. i miss him dearly and am still in love with him, i was with him for 30 years. i was looking for sites that could give me some positive feedback. im glad i came on your site. thank you for writing on the web. sorry for your loss. i know one day i will be with him and that will be the happiest day of my life. until then i will take your advice. i have prepared myself to engage in alot of activities that i always wanted to do. i joined a bible study, went to broadway plays, play with dog, and in may i will be taking intellectual study for 8 weeks, and i was thinking about joining a spa and a pool, had parties on the patio with girlfriends and even had a sleepover with one. thanks again. june

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    1. Thank you for sharing June. I write in hopes that I can make a positive impact on someone's life. It sounds as if you are making some great strides to living your life again. I know it's hard, I still cry. I am tearing up as I write this. I know just how painful this life is; however, I now have a 14 year old foster daughter and I am living my life again. I hope that you continue to live yours. And remember that it's OK to tear up and cry!! Thank you again!

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