Monday, May 23, 2011

NYC/NJ Widdas

This past weekend I had the pleasure of visiting NYC and Jersey City. I stayed with a widow friend of mine that I met in an online support group. She is such a lovely, wonderful person that I am honored to call my friend. I will admit that I was very nervous about spending the weekend because although we have become such good friends online and on the phone, I wondered how would we click in person. I shouldn't have worried at all. It was like visiting an old friend. She is someone that was very instrumental in helping me cope with my grief; and she is one of the rare people that when I see her number on my caller ID, I pick up the phone no matter what I am doing.

I felt like the luckiest woman in the world. I had another widow friend from PA drive in to the airport just to pick me up from the airport and spend the day with me. I had never met this woman in person, yet here she was driving two and a half hours out of her way just to see me. I had a wonderful day with her, and am so glad that she decided to stay until the morning. I felt like I was back in high school having a slumber party with my girlfriends. Even though I'd just met these two women, I felt as if I'd known them a lifetime.

My friend that I stayed with organized a dinner in NYC for me to meet with the widows and widowers of NYC/NJ area. We went to dinner and a show at Lucky Cheng's. I had a marvelous time. We laughed the entire time that we were there. I cannot remember the last time that I laughed so hard (and came out of my shell for the night, but sorry what happens at Lucky Cheng's stays at Lucky Cheng's)!!! After dinner, my friend treated me to a show, the Lion King. What an amazing show, highly recommended! Then we had drinks and dessert in Times Square before heading back to her place.

A brunch was also organized in NJ for me to meet more widows and widowers. I felt so incredibly welcomed and yet a tinge of sadness that here I was sitting at this long table with all of these young men and women and we all have one devastating thing in common, we all have lost a spouse. As much as I hate to see young people being widowed, I must say that it is comforting to be around them because they know exactly what I have gone through. Sure, each person has a different story, but we each have that one bond that ties us all together. We are able to talk about our feelings without someone telling us that it's been X months, you need to move on. Or telling me that I cannot cry, when I felt tears coming on I was allowed to let them swell in my eyes without comment or judgement. I loved being around this group of people. Each and everyone of them reached out to me and welcomed me with such warm and loving arms.

I feel so fortunate to have had this past weekend, I was comfortable, relaxed and had the time of my life!! I have my wonderful friend to thank for it. For me, it was so much more than just a weekend getaway. I may not have done everything on my "things to see and do" list, but somehow, it really doesn't matter because the most important thing that was on my list was to just live and have a good time. And that is precisely what I did this past weekend.


  1. Brava! How wonderful!

  2. I'd luv to move back to Jersey, Ann. Ironically, the monthly brunches didn't start til after we moved to Fl. Coincidence? ;-)

  3. good for you! doing new things can be liberating from the daily 'grief monster'. Your NJ friend sounds like a great gal.

    --another 'left behind'

  4. I'm so glad for you!! Sounds like a great time!