Friday, April 15, 2011

I'm OK

I have been in a wonderful mood lately. I have finally realized that it's going to be OK. That I am going to be OK. That living my life, actually living my life without Chris is going to be OK. Well, I'm still working on that last part. But, I'm getting there. I've been feeling wonderful about myself. I've made strides in my personal life. I've done something the other day that I never in a million years thought that I would ever do, yet I did it. And I also did it without Chris, without thinking of Chris and therefore without tears. What a major accomplishment that was.

I think that the feeling that I have right now is that of relief because I have made another step forward in my life and I am OK. I didn't crumble, my world didn't fall down around me. I didn't stumble. I have survived it. I am amazed at myself right now. I actually can say that I feel so good about myself right now, I want to start living. I want to actually LIVE!!! I have decided that the days of wallowing are over, yes I can and will still grieve for my Christopher, but I will live my life the way that I should be living my life. The world is still spinning, life is still going on around me and I need to start living my life. I keep saying that I need to honor Chris's memory by living my life. But, so far that has just been staying alive. Now, I am going to take an active role in my life and start living, getting healthy and more active. I will make Chris proud of me.

3 comments:

  1. I love this post. Love to you, Ann.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you are a role model for me, and I'm so proud of you. Keep on keeping on!! xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  3. :) very happy to read this post. Way to go!

    ReplyDelete