Friday, January 14, 2011

Why I've Reverted Backwards

I've been trying to figure out why I've been going backwards in my grief. Then it hit me...my therapist quit. She didn't quit me, she quit working for the doctor's office. But, I feel like she quit me. I feel abandoned. I know that it's not personal. I can't take it that way. But, it feels like it. I didn't get a call from the office or her letting me know that she was leaving. However, my doctor did tell me that she wasn't going to be there anymore on my last visit. So now I have to start all over again with another therapist. My doctor will fill in for her until she can find another one that she think will be a good fit. Which is fine. However, it still stinks; I liked her, and I trusted her. I don't know why, but it has brought back the fresh feelings of Chris passing away. And now, I will have to start all over with someone new and bring all the fresh feelings of grief to the surface again.

2 comments:

  1. How awful for you! I am so sorry this happened! When you place your confidence in someone you expect them to be there for you....
    Maybe if you check at a local hospice organization you could be provided with the names of grief counselors and/or a bereavement group starting soon.
    Good luck!

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  2. Ann, it's so totally understandable that this would be setback, and that you'd take it personally - I've long since found with myself that I can't think my way out of emotions, no matter how "irrational" I think they are - they just are what they are, and if you feel them, you feel them. She was someone you relied on, and now she's not there - it's hard, it's not comparable to the loss of Chris at all, of course, but it is another loss.

    I hope you find a new therapist who's good for you and gives you the support and safety you need and deserve.

    Love to you!

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