Saturday, December 18, 2010

"You really need to move on"

Again, I was told that I need to move on.  I really wanted to ask this person "How?"  How exactly does one move on from such a tragedy such as this?  I was at the peak of my happiness the day of the incident when my life came crashing down.  I understand that it's been over a year, and that people think that I should be over it, or better.  Yet, they didn't experience what I did.  Everyday that I wake up without Chris, I am reminded that he will never wake up beside me again.  Sure, I can try to convince myself that he's just gotten up early or whatever.  But, reality does eventually set in and I try my best to hold back the tears.  It still hurts, it still feels like a knife stabbing me in the heart when I realize that he's gone, never to return. 

I still have anxiety going to bed at night.  I still have nightmares when I actually sleep.  I still have hate in my heart when I think of the monster that took my love's life.  I have panic when I think of how close that monster lives to my house now.  How exactly am I supposed to move on?

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Ann, I can't believe people say such useless, ignorant, flat-out stupid things like that to you. As if they have a clue... virtual hugs to you.