Friday, December 3, 2010
I actually got some sleep last night. And no nightmares. I was still up early, not too early. But, I think that since one chapter of my life has closed it has lessened the anxiety of the one year mark. I have been thinking about my future to divert my thoughts away from the events of that day. I have made plans with friends so that I will not be at work and that I will be busy. I keep thinking that as long as I can keep myself and my mind occupied, I can avoid the grief monster. I have been talking about Chris with a couple of friends, I want to talk about him. I want to remember the happy things, not the sad thing. I want to be able to smile about him when I remember him. I still have some moments where I can't believe that it's real, yep even at a year. But, I'm accepting it more. It's becoming more of my life and I try my best to avoid all thoughts of him not being around. Somedays, I can't even look at pictures of him because it reminds me that he's not here. So, I will continue to look ahead and try to avoid the events that took place December 8 of last year.