Saturday, November 6, 2010

Less Anger and More Acceptance

I went to church tonight at Chris's cousin's church.  I've had to call Father K in the past because of all the anger that I felt.  He has been such a tremendous help to me.  I was happy to tell him that I am feeling less anger these days.  It still creeps up, but for the most part, I'm doing better.  I'm accepting things and that there is nothing that I can do about it.  I still would like to know why, but I know that the monster that did this will never say why, I mean he can't even own up to what he did.  Yet, I suspect that there is one person that knows why he did it.  I am positively convinced that he told her that he did it and I'm also convinced that he told her why.  Regardless, whatever the reason, it was senseless.  I'm also convinced that Shannon Holmes is a psychopath.  (I'll write about that another day.)  But, at the end of the day, I feel less and less anger.  I can't change what has happened.  No matter how much I pray that the past will change, it is done.  So, I'm working on accepting it and every step of acceptance I make, I feel less anger.  That does not mean that I will forgive that monster, but it means that I can forget about him. 

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