Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Giving Thanks

Last Thanksgiving was the last one that I spent with Chris.  We had my entire family over.  We both cooked the meal, including homemade pies.  I was so in love with him that day.  He actually helped me cook and clean.  He truly was the most wonderful loving husband, and he showed it that day.  I kept thinking that this year, I have nothing to be thankful for.  But, the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that I do have things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my job.  I may hate it at times.  But, it pays really well and to be honest, I am treated pretty decent these days.  My boss is very understanding.  I truly feel as if I work for a family owned company than a huge corporation (technically, it is family owned).  Most of my co-workers are great, especially the ones that I directly interact with.  Things are busy, I have been working overtime.  But, most of all, I have a job.  That alone, I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my friends.  Yes, I have lost a couple after Chris passed away.  But, I'm not sad about it.  But, I have so many more friends that have reentered my life.  So many friends from HS that I reconnected with.  I remembered why they were my friends in high school and I know why I call them my friends now.  I have also met some new friends through Chris, even after his passing.  Some of these friends have replaced my best friends and I have become closer the them than my own friends.  I am so very thankful for these friends that have stood beside me during this past year.

I am thankful for my widda friends.  It is such a tragedy that I had to meet these wonderful people.  But, they are special to me.  They all know what I have gone through and what I am going through because they have experienced it.  They may not have experienced exactly what I did, but losing the love of your life has bonded us.  Some of them know what I have yet to go through still.  I have learned something from so many of them.  And so many of them are so dear to me.

I am thankful for my family.  I have always known that my family was great.  But, I never knew how truly magnificent they are.  Since I have been an adult, my mom has been one of my best friends.  And we have become even closer this past year.  My father has always been a hero to me.  To see his emotions last December, made him an even bigger hero in my heart.  Both of my brothers have been amazing.  And of course, I have become closer to my sister in law.  And last, but not least my four little, some not so little, nephews.  I love those little guys more than life itself.  I love when they see me how they come running up to hug and kiss me.  Those are moments worth living for.  And, no, I did not forget "the cousins".  I love you all.

I am also thankful for my in laws.  Chris's grandmother is not my grandmother in law, she is my grandmother.  I have become so close to her in the past year, it is as if I have known her all my life.  I also gained a brother, Chris's older brother.  I can't leave out his many aunts, uncles, and cousins.  They still treat me as if Chris were still here with me.  To them, I am still a member of their family and not just by name.  They are such wonderful, loving people.  I am honored to have the Cser last name.

Lastly, I am thankful for the time that I had with Chris.  While our relationship may not have been perfect.  We were a typical couple.  We loved each other with every ounce our our being.  We may not have been perfect, but we were perfect for each other.  Not a day or moment goes by that I don't think about him.  I actually do have days now where I can remember him and smile.  But, I still have more days where I'm sad when I remember him and think of the "what ifs".  I try my best to only remember the good.  But, occasionally I am reminded of that fateful night that we were separated and my heart breaks again.  At the end of each day, I am thankful that I met him.  And I am even more thankful that he chose me to be his wife.  I would not trade my time with him for anything in the world.  I cherish my memories of him because that is all that I have.

2 comments:

  1. Lovely post, Ann. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and love.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Inspirational, Ann. Beautiful, brought tears to my eyes... We all miss him.. Recently, I've found Jesus, and it's a great comfort to me to know that Chris has his place up there with the Father. He eternally lives on and has his place among the angels. :) I hope you will find comfort and peace in this passage: Isaiah 66:12-14
    For this is what the LORD says:
    "I will extend peace to her like a river,
    and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
    you will nurse and be carried on her arm
    and dandled on her knees.
    As a mother comforts her child,
    so will I comfort you;
    and you will be comforted over Jerusalem."
    When you see this, your heart will rejoice
    and you will flourish like grass;
    the hand of the LORD will be made known to his servants...
    Ann, I'll always be here if you need me... Thank you for writing this; it helps to put a lot into perspective, especially when we've lost our closest friends and family members (lost my grandma in april too).. Many hugs to you...
    ~Erin J

    ReplyDelete