Friday, October 8, 2010
I really would like to know why when I am crying the majority of people say "don't cry, you're going to make me cry too." Even my male friends say that. Why not let me cry? So, I guess that these people's comfort level is much more important than my pain? Tears are something that will help alleviate the pain. They are a release for me. They represent my sorrow. Sure, there are many times that I have been able to abstain from crying, because apparently my tears make others uncomfortable. So, when I'm at my worst, am I supposed to constantly suck it up so that other people are not uncomfortable? I do try to cry in private, too many people think that I am strong even when I am not even close to being strong. But, there are times when I need to cry, no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing. I guess that I'm being selfish when I cry. I actually said to one of the perpetrators "well, when you experience even half the loss that I did, I'll bet that will have a hard time holding back the tears. Yet, I will still be here for you to cry on my shoulder." Holding back the tears is something that I have been a master at for the most part. Yet, there are days when I can hold back no more. I need to let them flow freely, and shame on anyone that tells me to surpress them.