Friday, October 8, 2010

Tears

I really would like to know why when I am crying the majority of people say "don't cry, you're going to make me cry too."  Even my male friends say that.  Why not let me cry?  So, I guess that these people's comfort level is much more important than my pain?  Tears are something that will help alleviate the pain.  They are a release for me.  They represent my sorrow.  Sure, there are many times that I have been able to abstain from crying, because apparently my tears make others uncomfortable.  So, when I'm at my worst, am I supposed to constantly suck it up so that other people are not uncomfortable?  I do try to cry in private, too many people think that I am strong even when I am not even close to being strong.  But, there are times when I need to cry, no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing.  I guess that I'm being selfish when I cry.  I actually said to one of the perpetrators "well, when you experience even half the loss that I did, I'll bet that will have a hard time holding back the tears.  Yet, I will still be here for you to cry on my shoulder."  Holding back the tears is something that I have been a master at for the most part.  Yet, there are days when I can hold back no more.  I need to let them flow freely, and shame on anyone that tells me to surpress them.

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