Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Breathe, just breathe
Take the world off your shoulders
And put it on me

Chris was always there to lend his shoulder.  No matter what happened, he was my rock.  Now, I'm alone.  I don't have those shoulders anymore, the time in my life that I need him the most, he's not here.  I feel so alone.  I'm not even sure if I want anyone else's shoulders.  I so desperately need someone to lean on, but the one person that I want is not here.  And if he were here, I wouldn't need to lean on him so badly.  My life was complete with Chris in it.  Now, I'm just a shell of a person.  I have to learn exactly how to become whole again.  I have to learn how to live with the hole in my heart.  My heart is broken, I am broken.  I suppose the day that I am reunited with Chris will be the day that I am complete again.

There are so many more lyrics to this song that I can relate to.  But, right now, what I need is Chris.  And that is the one thing that I will never have again.  I have tried to live my life, I have tried to put this in the past.  But, every night when I climb into bed, I am reminded of the nightmare that happened.  Every day on my drive home from work, I want him to call.  I want him to call and tell me that he's OK.  I am trying my best to live my life free from the pain.  But, it's so hard when I feel so alone and that there aren't any shoulders for me to cry on. 

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