Tuesday, September 14, 2010

New Discovery

I've taken a few days off from writing.  I've reverted backwards.  I'm back to that dark place that I thought was gone.  I'm free of most of the anger and hate.  I don't notice the killer's house when I drive down the street.  I actually don't think about him hardly at all anymore.  However, I can't get past the immense sense of loss that I still feel.  I'm tired, I'm not sleeping.  But, I am so very thankful that I have so many wonderful people in my life that have been holding me up and letting me lean on them.  Yesterday, I was able to put it all aside and actually laugh without guilt.  And I was introduced to some new music,and when I watched the video, I actually felt better.  I thought that this is something that Chris would have totally loved.  It wasn't his normal type of music, but I know that if he saw the video, it would have become one of his favorites.  So, I thought that I'd share the video and hopefully, he can see it too.

1 comment:

  1. I'm having that happen too, where a video or a song can sometimes just change my mood for those few minutes. For me it's been Black Eyed Peas' "I've Gotta Feeling," Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and OutKast's "Hey Ya" - they just get me out of my brain for those 3 minutes or so while I'm hearing them.

    I think reverting is going to be inevitable... it seems like 2 steps forward, one step back, one step forward, five steps back, and on and on. Exhausting, isn't it? I hate that we're going through this. Nothing about widowhood that doesn't suck.

    Peace to you, Ann!