Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Well, my birthday has come and gone. I didn't get my wish, any of them. Yes, I'm sad. I'm sad for so many reasons. I miss Chris terribly. I k now that life is not fair, but why did this happen? I waited so long to find the one person that would make me forget about all the bad things in life, only to have him taken from me so soon. Now, my mind is consumed with all the bad things in life. I'm irritated, angry, sad, suicidal, and I can't help it. I don't know how I would be if I didn't have my medications. I can't sleep without them, and even some night's, I can't sleep with them. All I think about when I fall asleep is, please don't let me wake up in the morning; that just seems to be the easiest way out of this nightmare. In my entire life, I have never felt this bad. And now with the whole plea deal being offered, I'm really mad. When I saw him walk into the court room with that smug look on his face, I wanted to jump over the benches and let all hell loose! I gave him the evil looks right back, I let him know that I will not be intimidated by him. I hope that he doesn't take the plea; 30 years seems like a very long time, but he will be 60 if he gets his first parole. That is younger than my parents, and my parents don't seem old. So, how is that right? He robbed the world of a beautiful man and he has the chance to walk free when he's still young enough to wreck more havoc on this earth. He should not be allowed to walk free. If there was any case that should have the death penalty it is this one. I am not just saying that because I have so much anger and hate in my heart. But, because there is so much evidence that proves that this animal did it. And of course there is the brutality of what he did. There is no doubt about who did it and what he did. He intended to murder that night. And for that, he should be punished. He should not be allowed to the luxury of us taxpayers paying for three meals and a roof over his head every day until he is an old man. He should suffer the same pain that he inflicted upon my dear husband.