Tuesday, June 8, 2010

6 Months Ago...

Six months ago, I was happy. I had almost everything that I needed or wanted. Chris was my world, my entire world. Really, at this time six months ago, there would have been nothing that would have made me happier. At this exact time six months ago, I was thinking how lucky I was to have him in my life. I wish that I would have told him that. I wish that I would have told him that I was happier than I'd been in a long time. I wish that I would have told him just how happy he made me. I feel so blessed that we had the time that we did, I wish that I would have told him that.

Chris was not perfect, nor was I. But, we meshed so well together. He had every quality that I could have ever wanted in a man. In retrospect, the only problem that we had, I could live with if I could have him back. But, I know that there is no going back. Time only moves forward, and here I am six months out and I'm no better. Time may move forward, but I'm just not ready to move on. Not just yet. I'm miserable. This new life that I must adapt to sucks. I hate it. The one and only thing that I want, I will never have again. I just hope that he's waiting for me on the other side. Despite what MD says, I will forever be his wife and he will forever be my husband. Our bond extends beyond death.

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